At first I began to think of my confessions as negative things in my life that I wanted to confess. Honestly, that’s the way it is for most people. I mean…I confessed something last night to a really close friend and it was a negative thing. But as I began to write I started to desire to confess some positive things. To think on the bright side is to uplift your own soul. To think on the blessings of the Spirit is to keep your mind on life and peace. So I wrote down 27 confessions for my 27th year on Earth and my 7th year as a Christian. It’s funny how I wrote on all of the lines except the bottom and it turned out to be 27 even when I wasn’t counting.
Here we go,
I love Star Wars – I know a lot more than people realize.
I love reading.
I love camping.
I love video games – but I pay all my bills, and I only do it in moderation. Haha!
I love skateboarding – 15 years still going strong.
I love making music – all types.
I love editing videos to music.
I love getting my car washed.
I love getting my haircut.
I love new clothes.
I love random companies on my hats or shirts.
I love laughing – need more of that.
I love hugs – giving and receiving.
I love giving – but I need to do it more.
I love reading the Bible – can’t live without it.
I love good worship music – has to be deep though.
I love Jesus Christ – but he loved me first.
I love God – by his sovereign grace.
I love speaking Spanish – all day everyday.
I love speaking English – all day everyday.
I love writing rhymes – all the time.
I love encouraging others – it’s hard though.
I love my mom and my brother – the Tripod.
I love my dad – but I don’t right now.
I love my family – aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents.
I love my self – but not my sinful nature.
I love my life – the highest highs, the lowest lows.
Sometimes I just need to write. More than 140 characters would be nice. Right now I’m remembering how I used to write for therapy. I deleted all of those posts when I deleted my MySpace account about 7 years ago haha! But it’s time to do it again, ya know?
So what I do is put on music and write. Just write. Just bleed on this pixelated paper. Okay that was deep right? Well anyways I’m just flowing right now and whatever comes out comes out.
I mean…I’m still being careful to choose uplifting words. I never want to be the downer, and I know myself with Jesus makes me full of happiness and peace. With Jesus…
Lately he’s been showing me not to strive anymore. Stop fighting so hard to gain the world. It’s so easy to lose your soul.
Well…I’m clocking out. Be back soon homies. I love you.
Time to write again. Time to think again. To process this summer like I did a while back. My how things have changed since I wrote At Summer’s End two years ago. Let me throw it back a little bit. I was living alone having just returned from Honduras on a week long mission trip. I was about to start my second year of teaching high school Spanish which so far has been my best year ever. I was about to embark on a journey of musical discovery as I balanced studying Greek and Preaching for my master’s degree at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary alongside of writing songs for my first EP. Oh yeah, and I was the head coach of a state level varsity swim team. Needless to say I was consumed with work. Needless to say I was pushing myself to new levels of work and efficiency. It might help to say that I was very single and extremely aware of it because my social group was small haha! But maybe I should say I was dying. I was thriving in the growth that I found in a new place to live with a solid Christian roommate, but I was dying inside because my life was burdened with too many passions and an acute loneliness. Too many passions. Ha, that’s me though. Some people don’t even have one, but I ended up with three or four haha. Well, that was two years ago. With that being said let’s bring that to the here and now.
Two years later I completed those courses, but I left seminary with much pain and frustration. Two years later I have made tons of new friends and have been on enough dates to know what I don’t want. Two years later I’ve left the swim team behind to pursue music as a passion and ministry. And that’s what this summer has been about. I called it the Summer of Sound. You see every summer since ’08 when I began to follow Jesus has been defined with the letter S in a certain mnemonic alliteration. Here they are in case you’re intrigued by that.
Summer of __________
Who knows what the next summer will bring? This summer tried me and revealed to me a lot of weaknesses I have in dating, in finances, and in my spiritual life. But also I learned about my strengths in relationships, in motivation to serve the Lord, and in creative pursuits and faith. I began to feel like I am one pilgrim amongst many in my city. I began to see my status as an exile on Earth and a citizen of heaven. The Lord spoke to me a few times this summer. Not necessarily audibly, but through moments of deep repentance and tears where I cried out, “I don’t trust You. Help me to trust You.” Kind of like the man in the book of Mark who says to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Well that was me this summer. Preparing for the future. Reconciling and forgiving myself of the past. Anyways, this is where I sign off. I’ll let you know when my big album drops. I’m excited to see what the next two years have to offer!
Love you guys,